I know i don't normally talk abt an argument, but i just had to let this out.

I just had an argument with my maid. A rather harsh one in fact.

And.. i said sth like this: " I don't even respect my mother, why should I even respect u?"

ok.. before u think i'm some spoilt, arrogant bastard.. it's not how u think it is. Don't get me wrong. I have never ever looked down on her. She has always been a friend to me. Let me explain what it was all about.

after the last tennis session, i placed my wristband in the same plastic bag as my soiled clothes, and put it to wash. It has been a wk already, and so i decided to ask her where it was. She said she "swears to God" that she didn't see it and didn't wash it. She assumed that she'd already handed over the pile of clothes that i'd put to wash the other day after tennis and it was my fault that it got lost.

I was very sure that it was in the plastic bag cos' it was rather small so i made sure it didn't get lost, and i've always taken good care of my own stuff. I asked her to check but she said tt i'd lost it and had put the blame on her. I tried explaining to her and she told me to "shut up." That was it. All these while i was speaking to her in a conversational manner even tho i knew she was the culprit instead of being an innocent party.

I snapped, but still trying to control my temper and tried my very best not to use the word "fuck" (partly cos the last time i quarrelled with her and i said "fuck you" she thought i was scolding her mother and i dunno how issit relevant in this case). She said i was conversing in a very harsh tone which made her want to shut me up, but in the first place i wasn't even shouting nor was it in a hostile tone. She added that i was being disrespectful towards the elders; and i told her that if u demand respect from me, u ought to respect me as a person in the first place. By losing my stuff and blaming it on me isn't respecting my stuff which translates into disrespecting me.

I hollered, " I don't even respect my own mother, what more you?" I explained that my mum doesn't even respect herself by making a mess out of her own room and even allowed the masterbedroom in my old house to be filled with her stuff (and refusing to clear it for a decade) such that my dad had to convert the study room into theirs and i had to continue sharing rooms with my bro. This is only evident in the amount of love and care she has for us.

I only respect people who know the situation well in an argument before making assumptions, and if, it is not their fault; or if it is their fault and they admit it. If i were at fault, i would apologise without any deliberation. In this case, she didn't know the situation well, such that she was the one who overlooked it, claimed that she didn't wash it, and the blame was put on me.

My dad commands great respect from me not cos' of all the material items that he had provided the family with (as what my maid had assumed), but he respects us by giving us the appropriate amount of freedom, concern and care that're inherent in his daily gestures and conversations. And i know that he's working very hard to keep our family going (cos i'd helped out at his shops before and i noe how much errands he gotta run everyday) but he won't have a good night's rest when he returns home from work, as my mum will be nagging and adding on worries to his already heavy workload.

As i continued the conversation (argument) with my maid, I explained that my mum gives me money every now and then too, but that alone doesn't command any respect from me, so it isn't right to say that my dad has provided me with everything, and that's why i respect him.

Now, before u start thinking that i'm such a petty person; i'm not. I didn't rilly care about the wristband since i've another, and it onli costs about 12 bucks for 2. What i wanted her to learn from this episode was that, i'm a person who treasures what i have. And anything, no matter how important or unimportant to me, be it expensive or cheap, has its purpose.

I didn't make the purchase in the first place just so i can lose them. I just need to prevent her from losing any important stuff of mine in the future.

To conclude this storm in a teacup, she found the wristband in the pail of clean clothes that she'd already washed. (and yet she swore to God that she didn't wash it, and insisted that it was my fault in losing it)


Here's a takeaway: You ought to respect yourself first, and others, before you command any respect from them.


On a sidenote, it's tough being a parent. It's through the upbringing of a child, that instills the amount of respect the parent deserves, in them.