Just tired. So sick of everything.. I want a break.. A break from the local sights and sounds... especially the ones in camp.. U'll never noe wad's beneath the cover... Fuck it alrite.

Drained. Anw sprained my ankle while playin bball last wk.. dun think it's gettin any better.. Seriously hoping for a better wk ahead.. cya folks.

Went shopping alone after church.. Jus din wan any company and din wanna go home.. so decided to walk ard taka.. bought some stuffs..

Can't forget it.. it'd alr filled my mind.. permeated into every single brain cell.. clogged up my windpipe.. i've lost every will to breathe..

The overcast skies are gone.. The majestic sun rose gingerly above the horizon shooting radiant rays of light into the darkness.. The sky was fiery red.. it was indeed a scenic sight.

Denise will be goin to Melbourne to study tml.. im supposed to send her off but ive got a fucking ndp rehearsal.. im gonna miss her man..

I rilly dunno how to describe my feelins now.. My heart had plunged to the lowest depths.. Lost the will to eat.. my tastebuds became numb.. I m so so miserable.. I rilly hope it'll be over soon.. like uve promised me.. tts all i ask for.. tts all.... rilly..

My heart palpitates wildly in your presence.. but yearns in ur absence.. It withers upon thinking abt the unfortunate plight we are in.. and lightens when not..

This feeling sux.. the sense of longing.. the thinking, hoping and missing..

Life.. is a stalk of rose.. for when it comes into being, is innocent and undaunting, with no threat concealed in its shadow. However, when it treads down the path of maturity, its thorns reveal and taunt its bearer, but with meticulous handling, it will eventually be overcome with no harm done. Under optimum conditions, it will be at its peak and bloom crimson petals successfully in its appreciation. Yet exposed to gusts of strong wind and torrential rain, its stronghold will be crippled, which leads to the withering of its brightly coloured flower and unsuccessful attempts to rebloom. However, in rare cases, it may, if it were to have the will. Or... perhaps not.

Fuck la. Shldnt hav gone out at all.. wasnt in the right mood.. was rather angsty yet at the same time, depressed. Dunno for wad fuckin reason. Probably cos i was jus too tired after the swim.. din hav the energy to laugh at jokes or to even take part in any conversation. Was jus so.... so distracted; disillusioned.. I was like in my own world.. oblivious to the things ard me.. Felt so weighed down. It's like i'm troubled over something.. yet i dunno wad it is. It's jus like waking up on the wrong side of the bed..
Arh fuck it.

Hey to everyone out there.. there'll be a party at Indochine on the 11th of june(sat) from 10pm - 3am.. R & B hiphop all nite.. tickets r priced at $18 with a complimentary drink and lotsa promos. Those interested can get tickets from me.. can contact me at 98222193. Thx.

Ah.. a fucking boring week.. dun really wanna talk abt it..

tried pumping my bball jus now to bring to camp but the pump jus ran out of gas.. damn.. gotta buy a new one soon..

Andrew's bdae bbq wasnt as bad as i thought it to be.. heh.. and i felt a lil guilty goin there empty handed.. wasnt tt fun either.. it was jus........ jus ok. return cab fare was 10 bucks.. spent a total of abt 150 bucks alr during these 2 days..

Jus found out ytd tt denise has a bf now.. they got together jus 3 days ago.. haha looks like i hav 1 less clubbing buddy in future..

i miss tt person v much.. cant slp at nite..

hungry. waiting for food.

Anw.. gotta stay in for 2 mths.. since work ends at 530.. we shld be able to play sports before dinner.. haha..

I want my food.

Indochine was madness last nite man.. Drank on an empty stomach and i was groggy upon drinking the 2nd cup of vodka. Haha.. music fucking rocked!(tho a few songs were repeated towards the end) A few puffs kept the party and spirits high.. went wif ziyang, david, dunnie, denise and ivan. Alot of chiobus who cld dance pretty well.... anw it was supposed to be a cj party but saw mani acsians there nvrtheless.. similar to phuture(the crowd) but indochine's much better(tho the price was abit steep - $23).

Saw cheryl ytd.. she met up wif us to pass dunnie some stuffs.. she's rilly pretty man..

Feelin damn fucked up right now. It's just a feelin.. maybe it'll go away after lurking ard for awhile..

I'm Just a Kid

I woke up it was 7
Waited till 11 just to figure out that no one would call
I think i got a lot of friends but I don't hear from them
What's another night all alone?
When your spending everyday on your own
and here it goes

I'm just a kid and life is a nightmare
I'm just a kid, I know that its not fair
Nobody cares, cause I'm alone and the world is
having more fun than me

And maybe when the night is dead, i'll crawl into my bed
Staring at these 4 walls again
I'll try to think about the last time, I had good time
Everyone's got somewhere to go
And their gonna leave me here on my own

What the fuck is wrong with me?
don't fit in with anybody
How did this happen to me?
Wide awake I'm bored and I can't fall asleep
cause every night is the worst night ever

I'm just a kid

I'm all alone tonight
Nobody cares tonight
Cause im just a kid tonight

I've got alot of friends.. but close ones... err... gotta think abt it..

Feel like 1 of my wings has been clipped off.. it has alwiz been this way yet i havent realised it all this while.. Nth much has changed.. like an ant lost from its colony...

Havent been clubbing lately.. almost 2wks alr.. no mood actually.. so its just watching movie and playin pool with denise ivan dunnie and ziyang till the sun rises.

Goin sentosa today.. hope it doesnt rain else it wun be fun..

Suddenly obsessed with abercrombie & fitch clothes.. they're seriously damn nice.. its a pity they dun own a shop here.. think i'll probably order the clothes online..

Still waiting impatiently for my hair to grow............

Just received a letter from smu saying that i've been admitted to the bachelor of business management course in 2007.. haha feeling rather relieved now cos i tot i'd screwed up my interview..
Watched shikoku last nite.. a fucking boring show.. supposed to be a horror movie yet there wasnt any horror scene at all.. wtf rite.. anw there was much laughter thruout the show so i suppose it is a comedy eh..
Just came back from gym.. rather worn out.. perhaps due to insufficient slp.. came back at 4am ytd.. still need to go church ltr..

Frankly, i'm afraid of growing old.. just looking at people ard me.. esp those getting on in years, with all sorts of ailments and diseases poured on them.. I sincerely give them my sympathy and yet at the same time, I shun the process of growing old even more..
Someone ever told me that she wld attempt suicide at the age of 60 if she's not married.. tt's cos it will be difficult to carry on with life after inheriting the various diseases which may leave one wheelchair-bound or bed-ridden for life..

Suddenly feeling very despair.. got a strong feeling that sth unfortunate will befall on me and that i dun hav a suitable close fren to comfort me.. I miss somebody.. yet that someone isnt one that i've met or conversed before.. just a stranger whom i will befriend in future.. still lookin for tt particular someone...
I've been indifferent towards many things around me.. partly coz everyday is just repeating itself.. so much so that i cldnt keep track of the date anymore.. and i just cannot be bothered.. just lookin forward to the weekends when i can hav my own time, doin the things i like and to probably rest.... a little.. at least to sort out my thoughts.. I'm tired.. really tired...... tired of ppl ard me.. tired of the things that happen everyday...
Every occurrence of an event seems to be directed by a person living in a different space of time and place from me.. It's like a stage play or a movie.. where acting is involved and everything is unreal.. Sth similar to that of the truman show..

Just received a call from my fren jus now.. discussed abt the happenings tml and sat.. hopefully the weekend'll relieve me of this revolting feeling and mood..

cheryl loon.. hmm..

Just got a new hp.. 7260.. was given a voucher by singtel.. traded in my 7250 and together with the voucher I bought the 7260 for 98 bucks..
Haha.. i noe tt my 6230 is only a mth old but its worth getting the 7260 at 98 bucks so jus get la.. still gonna use 6230 coz it has many functions and they r amazingly useful..
I'll think of wad to do wif the new phone.. probably sell it or sth..

cheryl & me

me & denise

Haha.. went out wif those bunch of ppl below again ytd.. watched beauty shop and played pool all the way till 4am.. anw denise was the girl i met at zouk and rouge a few wks ago and ivan's her fren while dunnie's our common friend..
Ahh anw we're meeting ltr again with ziyang, anthony and cheryl loon too.. damn tired now..

Outside cineleisure with dunnie ivan denise and me

I feel like eating yet i'm full. Feel like sleeping but i'm not tired. Wanna watch tv but there's nth to watch. Dunno wad to do now.. like so empty.. wad a fucked up feelin..

after zouk.. taken at grand copthorne hotel

zouk