An acquaintance of mine once told me to play the fool as ignorance is bliss. I will if i must.

Stale orange or fresh mango anyone?

You have no idea how much I long for THE day to come.. all these sufferings just made me realise how life can actually torture one so much so that I can almost see life after death as being more pleasant than life before death itself, albeit no one knows whether we actually do burn in Hell or walk through the majestic gates of Heaven embracing the sweet serenity of the white-washed environment, and experiencing the cascading river of happiness that permeates into your senses ever so willingly without any procrastination nor obstacles in its way; just like water poured into a funnel. The unending sense of elation is one that no one has gone through before..

Unlike the fire-burst of confetti of party poppers in life, which doesn't last.

I would like to think that it's the latter cos' i'm craving for happiness like a cat craving for attention.

Went gymming and had an hr of badminton ytd wif janice at delta sports complex.. Was qt fun but physically draining.. muscles all aching now eh.. heh.. den it was lunch at queenstown hawker for some great, highly recommended guo tie(gyoza) and beijing chao mian. The food was ambrosial.. even the "iron-hot" weather didnt douse our moods of satisfying our taste-buds.
More to come nxt wk.. Swimming and Gymming on tues yea? dun forget..

Alrite now.. it was lunch,bowling,pool and dinner wif these dudettes.. and of cos ps2 at my place.. rilly been a long time since i''d met them. haha and janice's hair is rilly short but relatively longer as compared to a few mths ago when she'd shaved bald. Great catching up wif u ppl man..

Jac's bdae celebration today.. heh tho her actual bdae is on 25th. Went to New York New York at citylink for dinner.. waited a fucking hr for seats and no reservations were allowed to be made. We den adjourned to esplanade to soak up some romantic atmosphere wif jus-b performing accapella in the background. Spent more time finding our way to the car park where jac parked her car cos the entrances were all locked. Had prata at bencoolen st after tt..
PS: hope u like the cash tt we gave u jac (it was yina's idea)

Usual gathering.. Went to sakae for dinner yet again cos of the 9 coloured plates for $9 promotion. Then we went to the coffee club at rendezvous hotel after going to Ben & Jerry's at cathay and realised tt there werent any seats for so many of us.. followed by Timbre at armenian st. Heineken sums it all. Heh.

Haha.. my belated bdae celebration with these dudes.. got a $70 heeren voucher from them and a slice of the "boo-boo" cake from nydc as shown above. My apologies for the un-chronological order.. this blogger pic thing's screwed up. And i'm lazy to make amendments to it. In general, we went to sakae at heeren for lunch where they surprised me wif the cake and voucher den went to meritus mandarin to tk photos(law's idea). Hah. Go figure.

ok.. i got the phone alr.. it's cool.. u guys shld get it too.. esp yina.. heh

Ok.. I didnt do all of u proud.. but at least i tried.. well.. i learnt from it anw.. it's an experience afterall.. a valuable 1 in fact.. i'll jus try harder the nxt time..

Hav been splurging excessively recently.. spent almost 700 bucks this mth.. tts excluding meals and other miscellaneous stuffs.. bought some clothes and footwears.. aye.. and i'm eyeing the new sony ericsson k800i cyber-shot phone.. think i'm gonna buy it nxt mth.. when my dad gives me money for my bdae.. yea..

I'm fucking bored.. not onli now.. but for qt some time alr.. not tt i havent been going out and all.. when i come home i jus feel jaded.. lost.. looks like my oldself is slowly creeping back into me.. those times when i'm hardly ever home cos i'm always out... i need to get a grip on myself..

Looking forward to my long break b4 uni starts..

Havent felt like this for a long time.. My heart is on the verge of falling out of my ribs as it palpitates almost twice a sec. I can imagine the beads of trepidation which trickle down my cheeks if it weren't for the aircon room i'm in.. damn the anxiety..

Still no butterflies in my stomach.. whoever created this phrase.. im not feeling it..

Anw thx for those who've dropped a msg or 2 into my phone's inbox to inject some luck and encouragement into me.. trust me.. i'll do all of u proud.. heh.. i'll try i mean..

Finally back home after almost 2 wks of boredom. Cld say that I waited long for this return, yet being back, there's this sour feeling in me that lingers. Perhaps Brunei wasnt such a bad place afterall.. Or perhaps.. I'm missing Brunei.. A little..

Will be leaving for Brunei on this coming fri(21st july) and will only be back on the 2nd of Aug..
Don't msg me cos i'll make u pay for the 60c per sms k... heh.. im sorta broke now.. jus bought a new digicam(not solely for the trip but cos i needed to buy 1 anw and my old one sucks). not a new model but still a digicam i preferred - mostly for it's aesthetical qualities and it being compact.

delon me/yina's dunno wad drink/TCC at citylink/yingzhen

4mths and 3 days left.

Prata & Bowling

The Gang w/o Lawrence

YingZhen's bowling pose

Post-bowling pose

The hand, car and the..

Jackass's pose

Outside Paragon 1

Outside Paragon 2

Outside Paragon 3

Nydc

Our lives are undoubtedly rich in blemishes, or what is known to us as, mistakes. We loathe making mistakes or rather, we hate ourselves for making them. Mistakes usually come with a price to pay and sometimes, a hefty one too. Hence, our notion of making mistakes, is often unjustifiable. However, this is a false perception of making mistakes. A fallacy in fact. We do not look beneath the consequences, but wallow in self-pity, and tend to take the benefits for granted. For example, when we make a mistake by choosing to take a rugged path home instead of a paved road and fall along the way, we would condemn and swear to never take that route ever again. It is through this experience that we know it's dangerous and will instinctively avoid that particular route in future. This is something gained from making that mistake and is taken for granted.
Mistakes are essential in life, albeit we have to pay for it one way or another, it is worth it.

The greatest mistake you can make in life is to be continually fearing you will make one.

I've learnt from mine. Have you?

Happy Easter.

Chalet shots..

If only happy moments can be relived and unhappy ones forgotten,
life wldnt be as meaningless.
If only equality lived and justice prevailed,
life wldnt be as miserable.
If only beguilers cease to exist and naive thoughts derailed,
life wldnt be as believable.
If only cataclysms stay dormant forever,
life wldnt be a trauma.

If only..

Fuck you. Be it the hypocritical or pretentious you or even the genuinely fake you. Just fuck you. This is what I truly loathe abt us humans. Just by being in a human sac, we inherit this trait or behaviour that we lose our true identity completely. Or perhaps you want to redeem urself by saying ure schizophrenic such that ure one person wif ppl u arent comfortable wif and turn into another when ure in "good company". Fuck you alrite. Fuck you.

Note: I'm not scolding anyone in particular. If you think you are a hypocrite then i'm scolding you. Fuck you.

Been experiencing a coaster of emotions.. When it goes up, I'd be contented, happy and ignorant at the same time. However, when it plunges to a depth near the ground, I'd be paranoid, depressed and sensitive altogether. Of cos if i were the engineer, I'd build it such that the route jus goes up and never down but unfortunately so, i'm not. And what's worst is that I can no longer see the tracks that are paved for me. Maybe cos it's jus downhill from now..

And soon yr 2005 will be history and we wun get to relive this yr again which is gd cos it hasnt been a very gd yr for me. Actually i cant wait for yr 2006 to come cos tt's when i'll get out of the fucking army which is a fucking land of boredom.

Guess what?

I'll be spending the 1st moments of the new yr wif my parents cos they're 2 of the most impt ppl in my life and tt beats having to spend new yr stayin at home watching tv which i had in mind earlier on.

Hah. Fuck 2005.

I m on a tight budget for my xmas presents simply cos i hav no money. Going for present hunting wif jan ltr.. so im gonna say sorry to the recipients of the presents. Yina and all r coming over ltr tonite and boy do i miss them so..

Hav been reminiscing much abt the past.. where my life was ever so energetic.. was hardly ever home and stayed out till 4 to 5am during the weekends.. Now my life is jus so stagnant.. now i'm hardly ever out.. jus the thought of stepping out the house cowers me.. cos everything tt had happened has crippled me greatly.. i can no longer stand up.. yet as hard as i might, i try.. there isnt a solid ground for me to stand firm.

I hate this kinda life. I fucking hate it.

Aw.. How I love my life.

ok.. the best xmas gift so far..

One of the dumb photos i took when i was on duty ytd

Optimism: Instead of crying over spilt milk, go milk another cow.
Yes.. it was printed on one of the calendar pages on the desk and i believe it was directed to me. As for me, i'm still crying over the spilt milk and milking another cow simultaneously. O well.

Be contented wif what God has bestowed upon u.. be it good or bad.. don't seek for the betterment of life thru trudging phoney alternative paths tt may appear all that perfect and too good to be true.
There's a hefty price to pay for it.
I drifted down the unchallenged route,
and,
regretted gravely.
My dreams... Hopes.. everything all shattered..
I feel so hopeless.. Unmotivated to live..

Found an interim blogskin.. Jus wanna change it for the meantime.. Anw i've been contemplating on how to spend my 8mths+ effectively prior to the admission to Uni.. It may seem extremely distant even tho i'm left a yr wif this mundane lifestyle (it'll probably be the most protracted 1 yr esp when "i'm serving the nation" in brandishing "arms") but nevertheless, i'm still gonna pen it down so tt at least i'll hav the skeleton of what to do then:

• sign up for a diving/sailing/wakeboarding course
• work as an adventure camp trainer or sth i'm interested in
• join a basketball club (maybe not)
• get a fucking driving license('ve been procrastinating for so long cos' i'm jus lazy; maybe takin nxt yr)
• plenty of sleep
• a normal routine of sports

k.. it may sound ludicrous to do so many things within the 8mths but 8mths is a bloody long time i must say.

Thank God for Xmas.

.... headache...

In our everyday life, it's not unusual to see ppl of different faces, of contrasting personalities and definitely from different family backgrounds come by every now and then.. be it across the street, crossing of paths, etc. Do we ever stop to ponder over why a person cloths the way he does or why she's holding a cudgel in her left hand and an empty plastic bag in her right hand? The first instinctive thought to a person may be that she's weird and so we give her a contemptuous snort or just scoff at her wif our "accomplices". However, if we were to tail her up to a nearest rubbish bin, u will feel downcasted and ashamed of thinking what u did earlier. What you will witness, is similar to the scene of a poor native african boy searching for food from a waste bin in an african village. In this case, she was collecting empty metal cans to sustain her survival. Argh, what a painful scene.

omg wtf m i talkin abt. Fuck it fuck it!

Life has 2 paths to it - either a happy one, or the antonym.. which coincidentally mirrors a coin with 2 flipsides. Similarly, u get to spend it only once.. so do spend it wisely..